I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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