I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
