32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you never un-have a 4some
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
