we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
