Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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