11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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