belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
