I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
