Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
