I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize