weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
