The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
