dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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