I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i believe in u and ur pee
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
