Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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