You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
