Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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