I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
