omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
