And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
