I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
