had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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