She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Did I show you my penis last night?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
