My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
