thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
