The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
