just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
