Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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