Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't deserve a penis
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize