11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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