I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
