i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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