If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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