what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
