i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
