Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize