It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
