He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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