He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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