His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
