i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize