Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was like eating out sand paper
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
