The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
