i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
