giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
