u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
MIDGETS
????
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
