yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
