No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
