jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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