She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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