i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
