You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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