I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i barfeds in our rink
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
