he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I want her autograph on my taint
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
