I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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