i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
