Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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