How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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