That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize