um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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