would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
