If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
