We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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